sometimes i miss...

     sometimes i really miss the east coast. i miss my friend and family. i know i'm living a better life out here in cali but i can't help but miss all the amazing people that made me who i am today. i've had a good run at life, i was given the chance to see the good, the bad, and the ugly over the past few years. i just can't seem to get over how much i miss the old days when it didn't matter what i did all night or when i had to wake up. i didn't have to worry about where i would sleep at night or how i would get food on the table. back when i could live easily making 400 bucks a week. those were the days! no one ot please and no one to disappoint. sometimes i say to myself, "how bad would it be to go back to that lifestyle." just then i remember that everything i did over the past 4 years was to make it so i didn't have to go back to that life. times can get hard out here on my own but i always look at the future and where i want to be in a few years. there is no way i could reach my goals back in Baltimore. life is bliss for me in california and when i hear people complain about how hard they have it i want to give them a swift kick to the face to let them know that things could always be worse. i wish they could spend 1 day in my shoes 5 years ago to see how much the actually have. thats all i have to say about that...

        Some things I don't understand, Such as life in general. I see the existence of all living creatures on this beautiful planet and think to myself, "Why is everyone so dispirited when life is the ultimate key to everything that is and ever will be?" Its because shallow, uncultivated pricks believe that life is just a subdivision of reality. But that is not the case what so ever. Yeah, I mean you can interpret life very generally as the time between birth and death. Does that make sense? Yes in every way, shape, and form.
       Everything that goes on from the time your conceived until the day you pass away is extremely important, Not only to you as an individual, but it effects future and past generations also. Everyone takes like for granite, until someone takes it from you. Its not exactly something you can get back.
        You will find life to be anything from perfect to a disaster. But its all in what you make of it. Every person on this planet has an equal opportunity to make life what they want. Its all about how far your willing to push yourself to reach your goals.
     The way people interpret life means a lot to me personally. I, myself, do everything possible to get the most out of the short life we are given. Life is one of those "once in a lifetime experiences" no one should turn their back on experiences in life, although some are incredibly difficult they should not put a stop to the pursuit of happiness. 
        I'm just very articulate when it comes to the one thing you only have one chance to do your best at. And people walk all over it stomping on unseen adventures which should have played an immeasurable part during your existence. Once again I'm babbling on about things that no one really cares about. Oh well, It is what it is. 

One of Those Days.....

            Today is just one of those days. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would feel remorse for taking my dog to get neutered but, to my surprise, it made me feel like crap. I contemplated not getting it done for the past 4 months but after seeing how annoying an unneutered dog can be my argument quickly swayed to one side. I keep telling myself that it’s something that needs to be done and it will be such a huge benefit in the long run, yet, I can’t bring myself to accept the fact that I’m taking my dogs dominance and manhood away from him. It’s a pretty crappy situation considering the fact that he hasn’t even had the chance to use them yet. People constantly tell me that since he hasn’t used them then he won’t miss them. Quite honestly, I find that hard to believe.

            I just dropped him off at the animal hospital and he seems so calm and depressed. It was almost as if he was trying to communicate, tell me that he would never pick up annoying habits if we just turn around and walk out. The only thing I can hope for is that is experience changes him for the better and the other way around.

            I have to go pick him up in 7 hours. He’s going to be woozy and disoriented, he has no idea what they are about to do to him. I can only hope that everything goes as planned today and he comes out of this a better dog. Poor Recon, not even a year old and losing his family jewels. He is strong and I know he will pull through with no problems but I still worry about him holding a grudge against me for doing this to him.